10 Weird Foods You Might Have Eaten at King Joffrey’s Wedding
Written in May 2014 by Catharine Symblème
Introduction:
If you had been a person of wealth and/or nobility during
the time of Game of Thrones – let’s say, for convenience sake, medieval England
– you would probably have celebrated your nuptials by throwing a big party and
feast, both to celebrate your union with your new bride or groom and to impress
the pants off of your new in-laws, whose knights would hopefully return the
favor in the future by fighting for you.
So what would your wedding feast have included? How about
roasted dormouse? Or pike’s womb? How about the intestines and genitalia of the
deer you or your groom just hunted and killed?
Here are some of the more – um, interesting – food offerings
that might have found their way onto your feast tables.
(Please note that the portions of the text that are direct
quotes are in italics.)
1. Roasted Dormouse
Apparently, the dormouse was considered a tasty snack by the
Romans, and while their popularity might have faded somewhat by the Middle
Ages, dormice probably turned up now and then on the tables of the more
well-to-do. Even today, if you have a
hankerin’ for a little dormouse, you can still find them served in Croatia.
Recipe:
"Mice: stuff the
mice with minced pork, mouse meat from all parts of the mouse ground with
pepper, pine kernels, laser and garum. Sew the mouse up and put on a tile on
the stove. Or roast in a portable oven. (Apicius 408)."
2. Cockentrice
The cockentrice – as opposed to the Cockatrice, the magical
serpent who could kill at a glance – was basically the front end of a suckling
pig stitched onto the hind end of a castrated male chicken, or capon, then
stuffed, spitted, roasted, and gilded with a mixture of egg yolks, ginger,
saffron, and parsley juice.
The word “Cockentrice” originated from the words “cock”, or
capon, and “grys”, or pig, and was spelled in a number of different ways,
including “koketris” and “cokyntryche”.
Recipe:
Cockentrice - take a
capon, scald it, drain it clean, then cut it in half at the waist; take a pig,
scald it, drain it as the capon, and also cut it in half at the at the waist;
take needle and thread and sew the front part of the capon to the back part of
the pig; and the front part of the pig to the back part of the capon, and then
stuff it as you would stuff a pig; put it on a spit, and roast it: and when it
is done, gild it on the outside with egg yolks, ginger, saffron, and parsley
juice; and then serve it forth for a royal meat.
For the stuffing: Take
slightly beaten raw eggs, grated bread, saffron, salt, pepper, sheep suet, and
mix all together in a bowl, then place the pig on a spit, stuff it with the
mixture, sew the hole together, and let it roast; and then serve it. http://www.godecookery.com/cocken/cocken02.htm
3. Beaver tail or barnacle goose
The Church ordained that certain days were to be “fast days”.
On fast days, no one was supposed to eat meat or animal products such as milk,
cheese, butter, or eggs.
As a result, medieval cooks became nearly as inventive as
modern-day vegans in their attempts to circumvent the rules of fast days. If your wedding unfortunately fell on a fast
day, your feast might have featured beaver tail or barnacle goose. Beaver tails
were considered “fishy” in nature, and it was believed that barnacle geese
hatched from barnacles rather than eggs, and were therefore fish rather than
fowl.
I couldn’t find a historical recipe for beaver tail, so
here’s a modern one:
Recipe:
Skin beaver tails,
clean thoroughly and wash well in a solution of salt water. Let soak overnight
in cold water to cover, adding 1/2 cup vinegar and 1 tablespoon salt to water.
The next day, remove from the brine, wash, then cover with solution of 2 teasoons
soda to 2 quarts water. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer 10 minutes.
Drain. Dredge beaver tails in seasoned flour. Melt butter in heavy fry pan and
saute tails at low heat until tender. Mix wine with mustard, sugar, garlic
powder and Worcestershire sauce. Add to beaver tails and simmer gently for 10
minutes, basting frequently.
4. Caudell
Caudell, or caudle, is sweetened spiced wine thickened with
eggs. The resulting frothy liquid was either poured warm into glasses and
served as a sweet drink, or used as a dessert sauce.
Recipe:
Beat egg yolks with
wine or ale, so that it is runny; add sugar, saffron, but no salt. Beat well
together; set it on the fire on clean coals. Stir well the bottom & the
sides until just scalding hot; you will be able to tell when it becomes fluffy.
Then take it and stir away fast, & if you need, add more wine; or if it
rises too quickly, put it in cold water to the middle of the outside of the
pot, & stir it away fast; and serve.
5. Waffres
Waffres were waffles made with cheese … and pike womb. (Pike
womb? Wait a minute, pikes are fish – do they even have wombs? I dunno, sounds suspiciously
to me like another one of those “fast day” workarounds!)
Recipe:
Take the womb of a
pike, & boil it well, & mash it in a mortar, & add tender cheese,
grind them well; then take flour and egg whites & beat together, then take
sugar and ginger, & mix all together, & see that the egg is hot, &
make a batter, & make the wafers, and serve.
6. Tart de ffruyte
Tart de ffruyte is a pie made of dried fruits and pine nuts,
topped with fresh salmon pieces. Fish, which was considered a “cool and moist
food” according to the system of Four Humours, was often paired with “hot and
dry” spices, to balance the humours, and nuts, to aid digestion.
Recipe:
Take figs, and boil
them in wine, and grind them small, and put into a vessel; and take pepper,
cinnamon, cloves, mace, ginger, pine nuts, raisins of Corinth, saffron, &
salt, and add; and then make fine shallow pie shells, and put this stuff
therein, and plant pine nuts on top; and cut dates and fresh salmon in nice
pieces, or else fresh eels, and parboil it in a little wine, and place on top
of the filling; and place on top of the pie shells a lid made of the same
pastry, and endore the pie shells on the outside with saffron & almond
milk; and set them in the oven and let bake.
7. Potage Fene Boiles
Bean pudding? Yes,
potage fene boiles is indeed a sweet pudding with a base of fava beans.
Recipe:
To make a bean
pudding, take white beans & boil them in water, & mash the beans in a
mortar all to nothing; & let them boil in almond milk & add wine &
honey. And boil raisins in wine and add & serve it.
8. Cooked lettuce
Lettuce could be eaten either raw or cooked, and if your raw
lettuce wasn’t crisp enough for you, the dirt (!) added just that perfect touch
of crunch. Mmmm…
To Prepare Lettuce:
It is eaten both
cooked or raw. Raw lettuce does not need to be washed if it is prepared in this
way, for they are more healthful than when washed with water if put in a dish.
Sprinkle them with ground salt and a little oil and pour a little more vinegar,
and eat it right away. There are those who add a little mint and parsley to
this preparation, so that it does not seem too bland; and so that there is not
too much chill from the lettuce to harm the stomach, put cooked lettuce, with
the water squeezed out, in a dish when you have dressed it with salt and oil
and vinegar, and serve it to your guests. There are those who add a bit of
cinnamon or pepper well-ground and sifted.
9. Haslett
If the groom happened to have a good hunt the day before, your
wedding table might have featured deer genitals and intestines in honor of his
hunting prowess.
…the genitals and
intestines [of the deer] were highly esteemed as trophies of the hunt and were
served, hot and steaming, in honor to the high table as a dish called ‘haslett’.
Sorry, I don’t have a recipe for this one. You’re on your
own.
10. Compost
In spite of its unappetizing name, compost was simply a
salad of vegetables and fruits, allowed to pickle overnight in a mixture of
vinegar, spices, wine, and honey. The word “compost” refers to the pickling
marinade of spices and wine.
Recipe:
Pickled Salad. Take
parsley, carrots, radishes; scrape and clean them. Take white radishes &
cabbages, pared and cored. Take an earthen pan with clean water & set it on
the fire; and put all these in. When they've boiled, add pears and parboil
well. Take all these things out and let cool on a clean cloth. Add salt. When
cooled, place in a container; add vinegar, powder, and saffron, and let sit
overnight. Take Greek wine & honey, clarified together; take
"lumbarde" mustard and whole currants, and cinnamon, "powdour
douce" & whole anise seed, & fennel seed. Take all these things
and place together in an earthen pot, and take from it when you need to, and
serve.
A Final Word:
Now, why on Earth would I suddenly have a craving for
McDonald’s?
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